I have weird dreams.

Seriously.

I should write them down first thing in the morning so that I can share them with you here.

Now, they aren’t all winners. They aren’t all memorable. And many are mundane. When I was a youngster, I had dreams that I was sitting in class and the teacher was coming around collecting homework and I didn’t have mine completed. I DIDN’T HAVE MY HOMEWORK COMPLETED!!!

Probably not the best gif, but…no, you’re right. There’s no excuse for it.

Now I have mundane dreams of answering phone calls and responding to e-mails. But every once in awhile, a dream will occur that raises eyebrows about what the hell is going on in my brain.

When I was in college, I had a dream that I was in a downtown office building, skyscraper style. The building was under attack. I’m running around the halls grabbing guns. I shotgun a dude through his chest. Then I grab a sniper rifle and get to the window. With the zoom feature, I look at the roof of the building over, and as I squeeze the trigger to take out an enemy, I see the RPG that they fired a second earlier. Explosion. Vision goes red. When my vision clears, I am a few floors down, running through the hallways again upping my arsenal. My thought at the time was “what the – I’ve already been here before!” That’s right, my dream was a first-person shooter video game.

I have three “nightmares” from my childhood that I remember vividly. One was me hanging on the ledge of a skyscraper (I must like city architecture) while Slimer was just inside the glass laughing at me. I was in my single-digits. I had another where Jason fired up a chainsaw (oddly not his weapon of choice) at the foot of my bed. The third was when I opened the door to the garage and saw my dad, which alone isn’t bad. But there was a two-car garage full of my dad. There had to be a hundred of him. I don’t know why, but it caused some sort of dad-overload. I was young for all of these dreams.

Take this morning for instance. Now granted, I don’t remember every detail. But I can recall the high points.

It’s the end of the world…in a Marvel movie. I know this because at one point I’m on a roof with my wife, a few other family members, and some random people. There’s an atmospheric…event, I suppose. It’s storming. There’s debris in the air. At one point, I remark that all will eventually be well, as Thor will likely save the day. What, you don’t dream of Thor? Actually, he didn’t make an appearance. As I said, it’s the end of the world. And no one brought any damn food! No one but me…because I’m a fatty, and I had my lunch with me from that day. Two turkey sandwiches. The problem? It was a Friday – in Lent – so I couldn’t have the turkey sandwiches.

And then I woke up.

Dreams are weird. I don’t know what inspires them and I don’t know how to interpret them. For me, they’re just sleepy-time entertainment. And honestly, that’s all I really need them to be. Maybe I’m swimming in the shallow end of the pool, but I am not looking for the deeper meaning in any of these. They are what they are. I occasionally dream, and sometimes I remember bits and pieces of said dreams. And for me, that’s good enough.

Have any weird dream or moment in a dream that has stuck with you through the years? Leave it in the comments.