I preface everything I’m about to say in this post by starting out with the fact that I have not seen a single episode of the CW’s Riverdale series.

I don’t have to.

In my honest opinion, it doesn’t look any different than any other teen-based hour-long drama on television, and the main elements of classic Archie are gone.

Here’s what I remember about Archie (before its recent comic-book makeover):

• Kind, freckle-faced ginger caught in a bit of an awkward love triangle with Betty and Veronica
• Goofy best friend who wears a funny hat and has a huge appetite
• Girl-next-door type (reminds me of the Mary Ann archetype)
• Your diva (Ginger, except not in the new-aged definition of ginger I used above)
• Rival for ladies’ affections (Reggie Mantle)
• MOOSE! He’s big and a little slow, but he’s the jock of the group, and gosh darn it, I never associated myself with him whatsoever.
• And a lot more

I fully admit that I didn’t read a TON of Archie…maybe half a dozen issues over the years. But when I think of Archie, I think of classic cars and soda hops, lettermen’s jackets and a “simpler time.”

I don’t think of a hyper-sexualized tv show that bears little resemblance to its comic book origin. Now I know there’s always been a bit of sexual tension in Archie books because of the Betty-Veronica dilemma. 

But I always took that as a bit more innocent than I probably should have. So I still look at Archie through a kid’s perspective, relatively speaking. And maybe that’s my problem…I never evolved even as the characters evolved.

But in the end, my lone opinion doesn’t matter much. Riverdale has an 87% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. One review states, “Riverdale offers an amusingly self-aware reimagining of its classic source material that proves eerie, odd, daring, and above all addictive.”

And like I said, I don’t watch the show. I’m going pretty well on preconceived notions and the few commercials I catch when I’m fast-forwarding through commercials in The Flash, Arrow, and Legends of Tomorrow.

So, am I right? Am I wrong? Has anyone reading this actually watched Riverdale? If so, let me know in the comments.

New podcast heading your way this Wednesday. It’s an audio commentary to a movie, THE movie that started it all. Have Iron Man handy…you’ll need it.